English 
I feel a little discombobulated this week. I “surrendered” my passport to get my name changed, and it is always a little unnerving when your main source of documentation is MIA. That tiny little book holds not just permission to cross borders, but a record of who we are at a given time in life.
As I wait for my new one to arrive, I’ve been reflecting on how and why we change passports—especially before they’re even used up.
Because the truth is, every passport tells a story. Like the final trip I made with my old passport, to Vietnam when there was a slight panic at check-in that I didn’t have space for a visa!
The First Change: Getting Married
The first time I swapped mine out was after marrying Terry, in 2001. To be honest, I never planned to change my name. We had never even discussed it. I had worked hard to carve out a reputation in my corporate life as “Miller”—my maiden name. It might have sounded plain, but it was mine. I was the last Miller standing in my family. My dad had only sisters, my sister had already married, and somehow, I felt it was left to me to fly the flag.
And then Terry booked us a holiday.
Under “Cockell.”
Suddenly, my careful plans didn’t matter anymore—I had to change my passport. And once you start, it feels easier to just do it all—banks, cards, everything.
Except at work. There, I stayed loyal to Miller, which created chaos every time I had to travel. One forgotten (minor?!) detail led to a full-scale drama at the airport check-in desk. Eventually, I was allowed to fly after some desperate pleading and waving my work security pass like it was a golden ticket. After that when booking flights, colleagues always asked, “Don’t you have a funny name too?”
At least someone remembered!
The Shift After Loss
When I lost Terry, everything changed. I stopped working in my corporate role, and slowly I grew into “Cockell”. At first, it felt strange. But when the ties back to Miller were gone, it started to feel natural.
It was who I was in that chapter of my life.
Another New Beginning
And now I find myself at another crossroads: remarriage. The inevitable question came—would I change my name again?
I wrestled with it.
To stay as “Cockell” doesn’t feel right, knowing I am entering a new partnership. But going back to “Miller” feels wrong too. I’ve come too far. I don’t even know who Sue Miller is anymore.
So now, I’ve become “Ross”.
I’m still trying it on for size, but I think it fits.
Passports as Markers of Transformation
Waiting for my new passport to arrive, I feel like I’m floating in a kind of no-man’s-land—between identities.
But isn’t that what midlife is often about?
The in-between spaces, the redefinitions, the letting go of one chapter to step into another.
Every passport we hold is more than just a travel document. It’s a snapshot of identity, a marker of who we were when we signed that line and posed for that photo. For me, passports tell the story of marriage, loss, reinvention, and new beginnings.
This new one will carry me into adventures I could only have dreamed of years ago as my husband and I search for artisans to help us create our future (Grand Designs-style) home. China, Morocco, maybe even Afghanistan are beckoning.
Each stamp will add a layer, not just to the pages, but to the story of who I’m becoming.
The Bigger Journey
For women in midlife, a passport can be a powerful symbol. Maybe yours has been the same for decades, steady and reliable. Or maybe, like mine, it has shifted with your life circumstances. Either way, it represents possibility. It whispers: you’re not done yet, there are more borders to cross, more versions of you to discover.
And while I wait for my new passport to come back, I sit in the space between identities—excited, hopeful, and ready for the next chapter.
Because every passport application tells a story.
And mine is still being written.So, does any of this resonate with you? What stage of life does your passport represent and what stories does it tell about where you have come from? Hit reply to this email to let me know or connect via your social method of choice (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, Threads or LinkedIn) to give me all the details.
This week on YouTube has again all been about the Camino and we are now on Day 12 of my recent journey along this legendary trail. This means we are out of the (flat, endless) Meseta and heading for the iconic Iron Cross (highest point on the pilgrimage) and the mountains.
If you have missed anything then you can watch all the videos so far (they are less than 2 minutes each) via THIS LINK. If you haven’t already, why not Subscribe while you are there and hit the bell 🔔 icon which will trigger a notification every time a new video is published.
Dates for your Diary
Add 25th September (3pm UK time, 10am EST) to your diary and join me LIVE on Instagram! It’s the first time on my own page so wish me luck and it would great to have some familiar names in the audience. I have been asked to take part in a short interview by Sahara, the founder of the Travel Coach Network ahead of the Virtual Summit in November (I will share all the details when I have them). I will be talking at the Summit too on how travel helped me rebuild after loss. So, follow me on Instagram HERE now (if you’re not already) so you don’t miss it.
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Until next time,
Safe Travels
Sue x
This newsletter may contain affiliate links. By using these, Sue Where Why What may receive a small commission for which I say thank you, but you will not pay any extra charges for this. My opinions remain my own.
More of my Adventures…
Blog – Travel for Singles Over 40 – All You Need to Know to Plan Your First Trip
Have You Joined The Facebook Group Yet?
Video – Walking the Camino Francés: A Transformational Journey
And finally, just for you…Receive a small commission for which I say thank you, but you will not pay any extra charges for this. My opinions remain my own., but you will not pay any extra charges for this. My opinions remain my own.
🏠 For accommodation, I use Expedia and Booking.com primarily. They have their own loyalty schemes which is easy to progress through the levels for better discounts and inclusions.
🚍 For tours and activities, my preferred supplier is Get Your Guide.
🗺️ For multi day or week tours, check out G Adventures. I used them for trips in Costa Rica, Peru, and Galapagos.
🤞 I would never leave home without travel insurance. With Safety Wing you can take out an annual policy and pay monthly. This takes the hassle out of having to remember for us regular travellers.
🛫 For cheap flights, check out Skyscanner or join Jacks Flight Club which scans the internet for error fares (UK only).
🧳 For luggage storage on your travels, I recommend the service by Bounce.
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